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13 Is the New 18: And Other Things My Children Taught Me--While I Was Having a Nervous Breakdown Being Their Mother
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| Item Number |
1446113 |
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Item Description...
“I wonder sometimes if there's something to the old superstition about the number thirteen. Maybe that superstition was originally created by the mothers in some tribe who noticed that in their children's thirteenth year, they suddenly became possessed by evil spirits. Because it did seem that whenever Taz was around, things spilled and shattered, calm turned into chaos, and tempers were lost.”
So laments the mother of one thirteen-year-old boy, Taz, a teen who, overnight it seemed, went from a small, sweet, loving boy to a hulking, potty-mouthed, Facebook/MySpace–addicted C student who didn't even bother to hide his scorn for being anywhere in the proximity of his parents.
As this startling transformation floors journalist Beth Harpaz and her husband, Elon, Harpaz tries to make sense of a bizarre teenage wilderness of $100 sneakers, clouds of Axe body spray (to hide the scent of pot?!), and cell phone bills so big they require nine-by-twelve envelopes. In the process, she begins chronicling her son's hilarious, sometimes harrowing, indiscretions, blaming herself (“I am a terrible mother” becomes her steadfast refrain), Googling unfamiliar teenage slang, reading every parenting book she can get her hands on, and querying friends who also have teens.
From a derailed family vacation where Taz is more interested in trying to get a cell phone connection than looking at the world's largest trees (boring!), to a prom where Taz is caught with liquor, to a trip to Australia sans parents in which Taz actually doesn't get into any trouble and manages to do his own laundry, the events that mark Taz's newfound and troublesome independence are told with a wry and poignant voice by a woman who's both wistful for the past and trying her hardest to understand her son's head-scratching new behavior. In her quest to infiltrate his world by spying on his MySpace page (where he claims he's twenty-two), Harpaz expands her online monitoring and soon becomes a Facebook addict. She also reflects on her own youth and entry into middle age, and in the process achieves hard-won wisdom.
A book for any parent of teens—be they girls or boys—13 Is the New 18 is a delightfully comical foray into today's increasingly widening generation gap and one mom's attempt to figure it all out with little guidance and a whole lot of misplaced guilt.
From the Hardcover edition.
"In her new book, inspired by her AP story of the same name, Harpaz (The Girls in the Van) focuses on a year in the life of her 13-year-old son, nicknamed Taz. After his bar mitzvah, Taz crosses the bridge from the innocence of childhood into a world of iPods, baggy clothes, lewd song lyrics, questionable peers (he calls them 'peeps') and poor grades. Harpaz takes the change in stride, rifling through her son's room for contraband (she's not disappointed, finding a locked box of condoms and alcohol later revealed to be a 'plant'), peering over his shoulder as he surfs MySpace and trying to figure out whether her rebellious child is normal or the result of her being a 'Terrible Mother.'Readers follow Harpaz as she wrangles with such familiar topics as dragging a teen along on a vacation, homework and the all-consuming desire to be cool. Though the antics of an annoying teenager can be tedious-even for readers sympathetic to her situation-Harpaz has an engaging voice, and her outlook on everything from teen fashion to Facebook is fresh and funny. In spite of her insistence that she doesn't fit in with the 'Perfect Mommies,'she and Taz get through a challenging year without major mishaps and plenty of laughs."
—Publishers Weekly
“Ever wish you could see inside the mind of your teenager? In 13 is the New 18, Beth Harpaz tells it like it is. Her poignant and acute look at what happens when her kids' rush to grow up crashes into her need to hold on to the little darlings is a hopeful roadmap for all of us obsessed, befuddled and anxious parents.”
—Anne Kreamer, author of Going Gray: What I Learned About Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity and Everything Else that Really Matters
“ Beleaguered mothers of teenagers are not meant to take this book as a literal guide, but somehow I don't think I'm the only one carrying around a dog-eared copy full of passages underlined with a yellow highlighter. Even if Beth Harpaz were not so funny–but thank God she is–this book would have been worth every penny just for her tips on how to survive those painful phone calls from your child's guidance counselor.”
—Michelle Slatalla, author of The Town on Beaver Creek
“An engaging, moving, and ultimately uplifting story of parenting young teens in contemporary America. Conveyed with humor, insight, and warmth, 13 Is the New 18 reminds us that, despite its challenges, there is much about raising our teens that should make us proud, enthusiastic, and even hopeful.”
—Richard M. Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Good Teen
“The story of how a confused teenager taught a smart women some important lessons about life…Take the wisdom of What to Expect When You're Expecting, fast forward a decade and a half, add a soupcon of candor, an endless stream of love and a dash of worry. Now shake. That's Beth Harpaz's parenting memoir 13 Is the New 18. Harpaz is a warm and wise new voice.”
—Peg Tyre, formerly, a senior writer at Newsweek and author of The Trouble with Boys
“Hilarious, perceptive, and poignant...Harpaz's voice is a refreshingly candid one that entertains even as it reassures us normal, imperfect moms that we're not alone and that everything's gonna be okay.”
—Susan Borowitz, author of When We're in Public, Pretend You Don't Know Me
From the Hardcover edition.
BETH J. HARPAZ is an award-winning writer for the Associated Press and the author of The Girls in the Van. She lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her husband and two sons.
From the Hardcover edition. |
Item Specifications...
Pages 288
Dimensions: Length: 0.75" Width: 5.25" Height: 8"
Weight: 0.45 lbs.
Binding Softcover
Release Date Dec 29, 2009
Publisher Three Rivers Press
ISBN 0307396428
EAN 9780307396426
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Availability 1 units.
Availability accurate as of May 22, 2012 11:50.
Usually ships within one to two business days from Reno, NV.
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Reviews - What do our customers think?
 | Laugh out loud funny - will leave you feeling better about parenting your teen Sep 29, 2009 |
| This book is such a psychological lift if you are the parent of a teen. The author's observations of life with a teen is dead-on accurate, but viewed through a wry and clever sense of humor, which is infectious and can't help but leave the reader thinking 'thank goodness I'm not alone', and 'life with a teen is pretty amusing', and 'my teen and I have hopes of coming out ok on the other side of adolescence'. The author describes her teenage boy but I was surprised at how similar the behavior is to my teen girl. I will be making a present of this to every friend who is bewildered at the changes in their child during the ages 12-14, my gift to their mental health through it all. | | |  | huh? Sep 18, 2009 |
The book should be titled "How NOT to Raise your Kids" or "A Boy that will NEVER Date My Daughter"
As a teacher and the parent of teenagers, this book underscores everything that is wrong with many families today. Mom indulges her son and thinks it is hilarious that he manipulates her. A 9 pm subway ride--seriously? And WHY couldn't that have waited until the following day? Dad has the right idea about family vacations and family life but is too spineless to stand up to Mom.
I am not a law enforcement officer, but I do wonder, how many "large, teenage, boys" are abducted as the result of not having a cell phone with them?
Maybe I have seen too many families fall apart because parents allow themselves to get walked on. It is easier to laugh, roll your eyes and look the other way than to stand up for yourself--and your family. I did not find this book funny at all. | | |  | Really Funny -- but Right On Target Too Sep 14, 2009 |
When I started reading 13 Is the New 18 by Beth Harpaz, I thought it was clever and perhaps a little bit corny. But then I was talking to some friends at church who have three tween and teen boys and Axe body spray came up in conversation, and I laughed out loud thinking of the chapter that Harpaz had devoted to the noxious spray, and I realized that she had really nailed it.
This is the kind of book that I generally read a bit of and then put aside, and read a bit more when I want to read something light to distract me. However, I read this book straight through within a couple of days. I kept turning to it for entertainment, but also because I wanted to know what happened next.
It is funny -- really funny -- but also right on. And instead of loose essays, it really IS a memoir of her son "Taz's" thirteenth year. She writes honestly about some of the perils and pitfalls of that time, but because of the self-deprecating tone (she's always calling herself A Terrible Mother), and the humorous tone, the hard cold facts do not turn depressing.
Harpaz is definitely a Free Range Parent, choosing to guide her son through his teen years, instead of hover over them. As she herself observes, it's much easier to make your son do his homework than to set up expectations that it will be done and then trust him to learn how to handle it.
Fashion, homework, substance abuse, friends, school discipline, social lives, cell phones -- it's all here. If you are the parent of a tween or teen, do yourself a favor and read this book. You're guaranteed a chuckle or two, but I think that you might come away breathing a little easier as you come to understand that "this too shall pass." | | | | A good read for teenagers and parents of teenagers - especially teenage boys May 14, 2009 |
In her book, "13 Is the New 18," award-winning Associated Press writer Beth J. Harpaz shares with her readers her experiences of dealing with her son before and after he turns 13. She tells about seemingly ordinary things, like buying her son deodorant, in an amusing fashion. Did you know that Axe deodorant comes in bodyspray, dry, shower gel, and deodorant stick form, and has fragrance names like Adrenalin, Apollo, Phoenix, Kilo and Tsunami? She didn't either until she went to buy the stuff without her son present. Lucky for her, she picked the right form and scent.
As she watches her son survive his 13th year, she reminiscences about her own life and the time she transitioned from a child to an adult. She shares some insights into the process that any mother can appreciate, especially the mother of a son who is close to the age of thirteen.
The sometimes poignant, almost always amusing narrative really struck home as I am the mother of a fourteen-year-old son who has already experienced my son's "terrible 13s." Although my son's and her son's lives are very different from each other, I could identify (and sometimes sympathize!) with the author.
Do yourself a favor and read this book. Even if you don't have a son, I'm sure you can appreciate the humor of the writing and the story-telling. 5 stars.
| | | | A cross between Erma Bombeck and Dave Barry Mar 19, 2009 |
I laughed out loud many times when I read this book. The author can take something as simple as deodorant and make it funny. The best part of the book for me, was when I realized that my family is not alone - other families go through the same sort of things with their teenagers. I decided to try, after reading the book, not to take life so seriously. I can get through this. Like when we took our 13 year old son on a nature vacation and all he did was complain, fart on purpose, and listen to his i-pod the whole time. Since then, we've gone on many more family vacations together and enjoyed them. But it's always reaffirming to hear what goes on in other families. Perhaps the old adage, "Misery loves company" applies here. This is not really an advice book. It's more of a memoir than anything, a really funny memoir.
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